Happiness

I think that a lot of times people like to vent about things that are going wrong in their lives or how their problems are just making things really difficult.  I have times when I need to do this too.  Lately, though, I've been venting about something else: I. AM. SO. HAPPY!!!

Seriously, I have never had a more "happy" period in my life than what I am experiencing right now.  Sometimes I feel guilty because I know people are struggling all around me, yet I am so blessed!  So, so blessed.  Like, all-my-dreams-came-true-and-I-can't-imagine-life-any-better-than-this blessed.  Therefore, because I know there will come a time when I am not so belligerently happy, I am going to write about my joy right now so that maybe I can bottle up a bit of it to drink of later when life gets harder.

Let's take a look at my life right now.  I am getting married to my best friend in less than eight months.  I loved him like crazy before we got engaged, but being engaged has brought us even closer (which I didn't realize was possible).  I bet that when we get married we'll get even closer still, and that is mind-boggling.  I just love him so much!  I am so thankful that God brought us together. 

Okay, so I'm deeply in love.  That's enough to make anyone's life happy.  Let's move on.  Not only am I in love, but last month I got back from a trip to Australia that I won in a random sweepstakes.  I have been so lucky in drawings lately - I've won a trip to Australia and New Zealand (which was AWESOME), an ipod, $200 cash, and a $40 Macy's Gift card.  Ummm...cool!  So I keep entering sweepstakes waiting to see what I will win next.

So I'm in love and I'm lucky.  Pretty good life, right?  It doesn't stop there!  Lately my family has been getting along SO MUCH better than in the past.  My parents aren't fighting as much.  Last weekend I even saw them HOLD HANDS (*gasp!*).  He bought her a kayak, and then she let him borrow it without even getting mad.  You don't realize how huge this is.  They seem to - dare I say it? - LOVE each other!  This makes me want to frolic through campus and just do some ridiculously giddy dance because my family is going to stay together, and they're going to be happy about it!  Hooray!!!  Also, my little sister Cara and I went SHOPPING together last weekend.  The sister who I had to pay $1 to let me curl her hair and then she cried because of the awful "girliness" of it all voluntarily went shopping with me.  She actually suggested it!  She's turning into a little woman, and she actually wants me to be a part of it.  She's one of my best friends, and I love how often I get to talk to her.  My family is getting tight - like, boy scout knots tight - and I am so thankful for that.  I couldn't ask for anything more.

I'm in love, I'm lucky, my family is getting really close...could life get better?  Surely not!  Oh but wait - it does!  I took a job as an RA at MSU this year, and because of this job my amount of friends at school has at least doubled.  I have all of these really close friends now that a year ago I would not have even been able to identify.  Going through crazy RA training does something to people, though, and in a KAMSC-esque fashion we all just became super close super quickly.  Not only do I love my new friends, but I love having such a good excuse (wedding) to stay in touch with my old friends too.  It's easy to call them about wedding plans (I have eight bridesmaids.  Don't judge.  I couldn't narrow it down), and then actually just end up talking about life.  Between my new friends and my old friends, I always have people to talk to.  I genuinely care about them, and I feel like they care about me too!

Love. Luck. Family. Friends.  Let's see...other areas of my life?  Oh, school.  School is great.  None of my classes are horrible, and some of them are GREAT.  I'm taking YOGA, for goodness sake!  I love Yoga, and I look forward to it every day.  All of my classes this semester are actually applicable to real life in obvious ways, and that is awesome!  Perfect set-up for a senior year.

Lastly (but most importantly), God has been teaching me so much lately.  I feel as though in the past I've grown most during times of suffering, but now I'm learning that I can grow in times of prosperity as well!  I feel like God is really showing me a lot about myself and His plan for my life, and that is awesome!  To wake up in prayer has never really happened to me before, but I'm starting to learn what He meant when He said "pray continually."  To be so close to Him is amazing.

My whole life I have wished I was someone else.  When I was really little I wanted to be my mom because I thought that all adults were perfect.  When I was in seventh grade I wanted to be Kaleigh becuase Marcus liked her, and clearly that was the most that any girl could ever ask for.  In high school I wanted to be Leah because she could run so fast, or possibly Carrie because she was the homecoming queen.  I also wanted to be a celebrity because they were so universally loved.  Being Beyonce would have been awesome - she was the ideal picture of beauty and talent.  Now, though, I honest to goodness would not trade places with anyone - celebrity or otherwise.  Not for a million dollars.  I am happy with my life just the way it is, and no one has a life I would desire more.  God loves me the way I am, Rex loves me the way I am, so I do too.   You know what?  I honestly believe that if Rex had a choice between Beyonce and I, he would choose my ski-jump nose and huge feet over her sparking smile and dazzling curves.  Call me naiive, but I know that it's true.  There's some amazing security in that.  What a weird guy, but I love it.  He thinks he's the luckiest person in the world, but I know the truth.  I am.

When walking down the street, I'll sometimes (an embarrassingly high number of times) randomly break into a goofy grin or just start laughing because I can't contain all of this joy.  People think I'm really weird, but whatever.  I can't keep it inside.

MY LIFE IS AMAZING

Cheeky Little Boy

I've never had a brother, but I always wanted one.  I have one sister and I love her TO DEATH, but I always wondered what it would be like to have a brother.  Would he be nice?  Would he be obnoxious?  Would we be friends?  Would I like his friends?  Would we ever hang out?  Would I have to do the dishes less times per week?  What does it actually mean to love someone "like a little brother?" I feared that I may never have these questions answered.  This summer, I ended up living with my best friend Carly and her family.

And I found my little brother.

Taylor Crookston is pretty much the bomb.  If you have ever read my "Inside These Crookston Walls" blog, I'm sure you read plenty about him and his hilarious antics.  Living with the Crookstons was a BLAST, and it 100% would not have been the same without Taylor.  He gave me the first glimpse of what it would be like to have a little brother, and I LOVED it and I love him (as a little brother, of course - hence the whole point of this blog post).

Taylor is pretty much the teenage boy version of Carly (which, until this summer, I did not realize was possible).  I mean, if you take Carly and subtract boobs, mascara, lots of boy drama, and add some manly stuff, you've got Taylor.  This might explain why we became so tight so quickly.  I love Carly, so what's not to love about Taylor?  The more I got to know him, though, the more I got to know his individual characteristics and what makes him unique.  He's really, really awesome.  If you don't know Taylor, you should.  According to Carly, maybe I like him too much: "Christine, you like Taylor better than me!!!" was heard a few times. Anyway, we got pretty tight and blahdy blahdy blah.  End of summer.

Okay.

So THEN...I got engaged. (YAY)  And THEN...I realized another fundamental difference between Taylor and Carly.  Carly would never be cheeky enough to post a blog entry like this:

The Official Plea

Who (at the Crookston household) was the first to accept your pet/best friend? Me. Who do you have a rat"like" secret handshake with? Me. Who do you bond with about naming Beyonce's baby, Sasha? Me. Who has taken you on a date in the last three months (that was not your fiance)? Me. Who tricks you into watching "not-so-sad" movies like Steel Magnolias? Me... that one still might be tender :) Who came to Cindy's birthday party... happily? Me. Who has won "Crookston Moment of the Day" countless times? Me. Who is going to cry at your wedding and already knows it? Me. Who is the best "little brother" in the world? Obviously me. Who is tacky enough to ask to be apart of your wedding party via a blog? Me... Does this qualify me to be an usher in your wedding? Why, yes, I would love to think so, but it is up to you. It would be a great honor to be a very small part of one of the happiest days of your life.
Love, Love, Love
Taylor

I mean, what do I do with this?  I guess my choices are to awkwardly turn him down, ignore it altogether, reluctantly agree, or just tell him that he had it in the bag from the moment I got my ring.

Taylor, if you're "tacky" enough to ask via blog, then I'll return the favor.  Will you please, please be an usher in my wedding?  Rex and I would be incredibly lucky to have you as a part of our special day.

Love love love,

Christine

Letter to Myself at 25

Dear 25-year-old me,

First of all, congratulations on being alive. There were definitely a few tumor-y years there where I thought you would never exist. So, if you really are 25-year-old me and reading this, SWEET. You made it to a quarter of a century. You can no longer use a 24 pack of candles on your birthday cake. Good for you.

I have a million questions, but I suppose they are pointless because by the time you read this they will already be answered. Oh, well. From that point of view this whole letter would be pointless, so here we go. You did marry Rex, right? Please say yes? Because if you are still with him, 25-years-old and not married, I am seriously mad at you. You have been together for what, eight years? If you're not married by then, that's ridiculous. If you broke up with him, you're an idiot. You and I are officially in a fight (can you fight a different aged version of yourself? I will look into this). If he broke up with you...well, that's just silly. He wouldn't do that. I mean, you wouldn't break up with him either... Whatever. I just hope you guys are married, and I hope he asked you before you were practically old, like, 23 or something. He he he... ;-)

On the note of marriage, do you have any kids? I hope not. Why on Earth would you want to have a kid, especially at the age of 25? I'm sure if you do have one then he/she is all cute and blahdy blahdy blah, but your twenty-year-old self can't really comprehend that kind of responsibility at this point. Kids are scary! You mess them up enough by teaching them - don't try bringing one of your own into the world yet. You throw birthday parties for your rat; I think you have some issues to work through. lol.

You did graduate from MSU in 2010, right? Because that's definitely the plan. Let's not deviate from that, okay? And you got the math minor? Have you used it yet? I really hope you use it in life. What are you doing for a job, anyway? Do you like it? If you don't like it, why don't you quit? Do something you love. I realize you need money and all that, but teaching is your passion. Please do that? Unless you're a stay at home mom or something (back to "please don't have kids yet!"). Please don't call me immature and naiive for telling you to do something you love. See it is "pure of heart." I know people who have ruined their lives by working a job they hate. Don't do that, okay? Promise?

How's your relationship with God going? Is it better than when you were 20? I hope so. It should get better every day. PLEASE tell me you've read through the entire Bible at least once. Don't get stuck in Ezikiel like I keep doing. Make it through! He loves you so much - are you being a living sacrifice for Him? Do people see Him in you? Are you giving all you have for His glory? That's all that really matters in life, you know.

Is the family doing okay? Please tell me they're all still around. Nana would be what, 77? That's not that old. Please don't tell me the cancer came back. How's Cara? She's graduating this year, isn't she? Where's she going to college? Did she go crazy in high school? (PS - your 20-year-old self calls it that she does). Are Mom and Dad more in love than they were when you were 20? Send them a note or something. They've gone through a lot to hold the family together. Is Dad more mature than when you were 20? (The 20-year-old self calls it that he's not). Also, did he ever sell that house? Did Cara get her dog?

Let's see...advice for me at 25...don't lose sight of the fact that you can't take life too seriously. The things I'm freaking out about right now: getting my passport in time for Australia, graduating on time, whether or not I'll be a good RA...how many of those matter to you at 25? Probably not many. How many of your problems will matter when you're 30? Just keep things in perspective, okay? God's got it all under control. He knows right where you will be when you read this, just like He knows right where I am in life right now as I write this. Pretty cool, huh? He can see both of us at the same time. HI, YOU! (I'm waving at you as you read this). Anyway, follow His plans, because your plans, when not in line with His, inevitably fail every time. If you've learned nothing else in twenty years of living, that's it. I'm sure you'll have to learn it again and again by the time you're twenty-five.

Do cars run on water yet?

Here's to your next five years,
20-year-old you

Poems About Things

Poems are super fun. I may not be a fantastic poet, but who cares?? This is my blog so I can write what I want. No one's forcing you to subject yourself to this sub-Shakespearean level expertise.

For my creative writing class I had to write a poem in iambic pentameter. Here it is:

Her Royal Cuteness

I have a rat; her name is Cindy Lou
She’s gray and soft; how friendly she can be
If she was gone I don’t know what I’d do
I hope she always stays so close to me

Sometimes she’s in a kind of cranky state
But mostly she just kisses and is sweet
We found each other; maybe it was fate
That me and my best friend would just so meet


See? Wasn't that fun? Poetry is fun. Here's my ode to working at KAMSC:

Ode to KAMSC

I get payed to work with play-doh
That is pretty fun, you know?
We make Oobleck and we make slime
We just have fun all the time
Kids learn something when they're here
Math and Science- give a cheer!
School can be so very fun
That students cry when the week is done
So every summer, kids make me smile
I hope I work here for a while

I love KAMSC...I am actually here right now, working in the office, but my jobs are done so I'm just hanging out. Yep, that's right. I am getting paid to update my blog with silly poems. This is a good job.

Here's a poem I wrote about drowning:

Water

My lungs plunge into my gut
Searching for air
The water wells and swells around me
My sight sinks slowly
Salty tears press me from every side
And I don’t know which way is up
The loose ends of my hair swim sleepily
While my brain beneath them breathes
The last bit of oxygen in my body
The dreadful darkness dampens
And prepares to take me over
Something grabs my arm
Pulls me away from my tomb
Back into the light


Oooooh. Creepy, huh? I was going to end this post with that, but I figured that's sort of a melancholy way to leave you. I will end on this incredibly corny poem about farm life. I had to write it for a class and there were specific parameters, so don't judge too hard. It kinda makes me laugh, though.

I Just Moved Onto a Farm

I wake up to the sounds of ducks quacking
When I peek out the window I see sun
reflecting off of the morning dew
It cheerily wishes me “good morning” in harmony with the ducks
Chickens add their staccato
And horses whinny loud enough to wake the Queen of England
2,000 miles away
I roll out of bed and pull on some clothes
I have to go feed the animals
The goat’s fur is as rough as the straw they sleep in
And their horns threaten any unwelcome visitors
I am welcome, though, and they let out a happy bleat
Chickens gather round to peck at the goat’s food
Like old women at a clearance rack
I will feed them in a minute
The ducks splash happily in their kiddie pool
Which is the ocean in their farm duck world
The horses settle down a bit because they know I am coming.
Moving to this place made me nervous at first,
But the animals assure me I am welcome.


So there they are! Some fantastically awesome poems for your enjoyment! He he he...I love poems.

This made my week

His Plan

Maybe I am starting to see why God let me go through the Hellish ordeal earlier this summer. I think He wanted me to be at the Crookstons so that I could see an example of what life is supposed to actually be like.

God's plan for marriage and family can, in fact, work. This may seem like, "DUH" to many people, but I have never been truly convinced of this fact. It has been amazing for me to see the way things can be. It kills me that my family has been hurt in the process of me moving out, but even my dad sees that the Crookston's is a far better environment for me to be living in. He's just sad that "our family has never been able to be like that."

The Crookstons have been such a good example of God's love and generosity. They provide a sense of community and belonging that I have never experienced before. I feel as though I've been pessimistic about life, but living here has given me a sense of hope. Life can, in fact, turn out okay. God has been revealing His plan to me about how life is supposed to be. This is COOL. Getting to the point where I had to move in with them was a long and painuful road, but I can already see God using this in my life. I think He's going to work it all out.

Past and Future

I am one day - ONE DAY - away from the end of my junior year of college.  WHOA - life comes at you fast.  I decided to take a post to contemplate my memories (good and...erm....not so good) from this year and look ahead to what fun I will have this summer!

This year I...

1. Got MSU football tickets for the first time.  GREAT idea.  I will definitely be doing this again.  The best game was vs. Wisconsin, who I watched beat us last year.  THIS year, Rex and I sat twelve rows up from the field right behind the field goal posts where Swenson kicked a field goal with seven seconds left to let MSU win by 1.  YAY!!!  I still have the ticket stub in my wallet.

2. Had a sweet fall semester schedule: classes from 10:20 to 2:30 on Monday through Thursday.  This was fab.

3. Had an AWFUL spring semester schedule.  I took FOUR math classes!! WHO DOES THAT??  This was a bad idea.  One more exam and I will have survived, though, so this is good.

4. Found out my brain tumors of last year "mysteriously" disappeared.  Praise God!

5. Took a class with Rex.  It was so fun!  Well, the class wasn't.  The class was totally boring.  Rex and I passed notes during every class, though (a la government senior year), and that was fun.  I am fully keeping my notebook from that class.  It's hilarious.  I think I 4.0-ed that class, too...we shall see...

6. Fretted about going overseas.  I spent countless hours trying to find a way to get overseas this summer.  I have a travel itch or something.  Anyway, I tried study abroad, traveling with Rex, traveling with other friends, traveling by myself...nothing worked.  Finally I said, "Okay, God.  I give up.  I'll just stay home this summer and see what you have for me there."  Shortly after, I won a sweepstakes and got a free flight to Australia. Ha ha, God, very funny.  Anyway, I'll see what happens with that.  I'm not sure I want to go to Australia by myself, but we shall see!

7.  Worked in a lab.  I had a really fun job working for the DSME (department of science and math education).  I had two bosses.  The first one is named Margaret, and she is this kooky woman (oldish....fifties?) who listens to Usher and gets french manicures and is really sure she's totally hip.  I love it.  The other one is Dave, this awesome and slightly nerdy (graduated with a Physics major) guy who is currently trying to impregnate his wife so that they can have offspring to name Xellos (boy) or Myria (girl).  Very cool. (?)

8.  Worked in the cafeteria.  Oh heavens I hated this job.  I eventually quit (see the entry about a creeper...I think it was in March?).

9. Had a fantastic roommate.  It was SO FUN to have Trissa as my roommate.  She is super cool and makes a great friend, plus it was fun to hang out with her and Josh and Rex.  It's a shame I'm not living in Williams next year...I will definitely miss her.

10. Became a rat mom/rat grandma.  See my posts about Cindy Lou if you want to read about my rat, but she had babies this fall (they were precious!).  Hopefully she'll be a mom again this summer...we shall see...

11. Joined the West Circle Bible Study and made GREAT friends with those girls.  They're super fantastic, and I can't wait to come back next year!

I think that's good for now...it was a great year.  Only what, 104 days until the fall semester begins?  Something like that.  In the mean time, though, I have SUMMER!  Here are the things I am looking forward to for this summer:

1. Sonic - Rex and I are going to order one of everything off of the dollar menu.  I can't wait.  Sonic is so tasty...

2. Beach!  I love MSU, but mid Michigan has no nearby beaches.  I'm excited for South Haven trips with all of my friends.

3. New Hampshire - exactly 20 days until Rex and I fly out east to visit my grandma!  It should be a great time.

4. Hanging out with Cara - I don't get to see her very much during the school year, and she's pretty cool.

5. Summer classes - Don't judge me.  I'm taking creative writing, among others.  Only one math class.  It looks like a cakewalk compared to this semester.  I'm excited.

6. Cindy's babies - hopefully we'll whip up another batch of them this summer, and they will be so cute!!!  I'm so giving one to Carly...he he...

7. Carly - I don't really get to see her much during the year, so it will be nice to see her over the summer

8. Beth, Jula, and I's "girls weekend" - Our weekend at the cabin is going to be so fun.  I'm totally stoked.

9. Camping - I currently have no solid plans to go camping, but I think it should happen.  Camping is too fun to go an entire summer without.

10.  Abroad trip? So I have this free trip to Australia...we shall see what comes of it...

11. Carrabbas - Rex and I's favorite restaurant.  They don't have one in Lansing.  I can't wait to taste that meat sauce again...mmmm.

12. Texas Corral Dooleys

13. Wendy's - Rex and I split 2 Spicy chicken go-wraps, one small chili and one medium fry.  $6.34.  Deliciousness.

14. Cooking!  On the subject of food, I don't get to cook much (at all) on campus.  I'm excited to try out new recipes and cook old favorites.  Rex will inevitably come over and try all of my concoctions and then tell me I'm a great cook.  I'm not sure whether or not he realizes that it's in his best interest to be honest, because if he says something is good then chances are he'll see it again someday. lol.

15. Tramp and Speed - This is so random, but I actually find myself really excited to play with Rex's dogs.  They're so fun, and I never had dogs at my house.  Now if only I could convince Mr. Webb to breed one of them and have some puppies...

16. Rex's mom's cooking - do I have too many entries on food?  Oh, well.  I love food.  Mrs. Webb's is delicious.  Especially her taco salad.

17. Taking Cindy and Houdini to the park - Rex and I already decided this.  I want to see Cindy go down a slide.  Maybe Cara can bring Mojo and Checkers, and it will be a party!

18.  Speaking of parties...Cindy's first birthday is in the first week of July.  I am SO throwing her a birthday party.  Charissa already said she'd come.  I'm sure Rex and Jake can bring Houdini and Patch, and Cara can bring Mojo and Checkers.  It will be so fun.

19. Weddings - my cousin Julie is getting married August 1, so I have to be invited to that wedding because I'm her cousin.  Kelsey's getting married August 14, and she already told me I'm invited to that.  I love weddings.  I can't wait!

20. Cheddar - the poor girl must feel so neglected when I'm away at school and can't play with her.  Just because I'm a rat lover doesn't mean I forget about my little mouse.

21.  Walking to Meijer - this was super cool until we all turned sixteen and got our licenses.  Then we just drove everywhere.   I want to go back to walking.

22. KAMSC!!!!  How has it taken me this long to put this on the list?? I love KAMSC!!  As a second year teacher (fourth year working at KAMSC!), I'm not as nervous as I was last year.  Plus, Beth is teaching this year too, which is sweet.  Getting paid $17.67 an hour to do something I would volunteer for (don't tell Ms. Fisher that...lol) is seriously a good thing.

23. Dorothy, Clare, and Carly - On the subject of kids, these are my cousins-who-aren't-really-my-cousins-because-they're-Rex's (but I secretly think they like me better).  Last summer we had tea parties and dress up days, and it was so fun.  Also, last summer they took one of my KAMSC classes.  Rex's Aunt Beth says that Dorothy's bugging her about going again this year, so hopefully I have them as students again!  I will TOTALLY play favorites. lol.

24.  Double dates - Rex and I double with lots of fun people.  Josh and Charissa, Dan and Jula, Beth and Chris, Lynn and Larson, Rex's grandparents (ha ha...this is surprisingly really fun), and others.  We will NOT double with my parents again.  That was a DISASTER!  Funny, but not funny enough to do it again.  Ever. lol.

25. No homework when I don't want to do homework - As I said before, I'm excited about summer classes.  I'm especially excited that they're self-paced, which I've done before so I'm used to it.  It's great - I just do homework when I have time to, and there are really no deadlines.  Plus, I only have to get a 2.0 in the classes because as long as I pass they transfer to MSU with no grade reported.  Hooray!

26. A car - after not having a car for the past nine months, it will be great to have a set of wheels again.

27. Going back to school.  I will continue my countdown from now until then, but I can't wait until fall - SENIOR YEAR!! HOORAY!!!

So yeah, this year was great, hopefully the summer will be better, and hopefully next fall will be even better than that.  Life's going well.

Motto for the summer:  Beautiful day, great to be alive!