Today, my dad looked out of our front door as he was putting the cat out. He said, "Hey, Christine! Look! There's a deer. Oh, hey!!! *angrily* It's eating my bushes! That's it, I'm hitting it with a snowball." He then took some snow in his hand, formed it into a hard ball, and chucked it at the deer. He hit it right in the middle of the back - a perfect shot. The deer took off running, and I just pictured it running through the forest shouting to all of the other deer, "I'M HIT! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! I'M DOWN!" lol... Animals are funny.
OH MY GOSH! HEART ATTACK! Literally as I type these words, I looked up to contemplate my next sentence and there is a deer STARING AT ME outside the window from my dining room table where I am sitting. Seriously. I could go pet it right now - that's how close it is.
Okay...there are more coming up behind that one...I am starting to freak out...they have come for revenge on my dad. I'M SORRY, DEER! I DID NOT ENCOURAGE HIM TO THROW A SNOWBALL AT YOU! There are six of them now - all within ten yards of my house. That's it, I'm going to go jump on one and ride it through the forest.
Okay, maybe not. They look kind of angry.
No WAY! Two of them are fighting over a bush that must be exceptionally tasty. I cannot believe I am watching this. It's like Discovery Channel LIVE! Now I'm just waiting for the lion or tiger to jump out and eat the smallest, weakest one.
HA! I just won a staring contest with one of them. Now they know I am dominant and that I can take them. They can't just come smashing through that window and trample me in order to teach my dad a lesson in harassing forest creatures.
Deer, I will talk to my dad about throwing snowballs. I promise. Now stop looking like you want to eat me.